I've been self-harming, I'm ashamed and I don't know how to stop

I've been self-harming, I'm ashamed and I don't know how to stop

Dear Coleen,

I’m 15, and around a year ago, I went through a rough patch and started self-harming.

It made me feel better, so I did it for a few months. I managed to stop, but the urge never left me.

A few weeks ago, I started to feel bad about myself and I began to cut again. I did it on my leg and no one ever saw.

My cuts are still healing, but now the weather is getting better ­people are starting to wonder why I’m still wearing thick tights and socks.

I’m so, so scared of someone finding out that I have cut myself and I don’t know what to do! I’m stressing over it and my mum knows something’s wrong.

I just don’t know how to stop for good. I’m not proud of what I have done and my mum would blame herself if she found out.

Coleen says..

The thing is to not feel ashamed. You’ve taken a major first step to recovery already by admitting you have a problem and asking for help.

Although y ou’ve managed to stop self-harming twice on your own, I think you need some ongoing support to give you the best chance of not doing it again in the future. You can talk to your doctor in confidence, but I think it would also help to chat to other people who’ve been in your situation. They could advise you on the best way to explain things to your mum.

Get in touch with self-harm support group, Harmless, www.harmless.org.uk, or speak to someone at Childline, www.childline.org.uk; 0800 1111).

As a mother myself, I’m sure my first instinct would be to think why didn’t I notice my daughter was self-harming.

However, all of these issues have to come out before you can start to heal properly.

I do think if you speak to your mum fully armed with all the facts, then it’ll help her to ­understand it’s not to do with her and she can support you.

I do think it would be good to have counselling to help you understand the reasons you self-harm and your ­doctor can help you with this.

In the meantime, if you get the urge to self-harm again, call Childline instead or do something to distract yourself until the urge disappears â€" play music, call a friend, take a bath.

Let me know how you get on.