Why do I fly off the handle so quickly?

Why do I fly off the handle so quickly?

Dear Coleen,

I’m a 34-year-old woman and have real anger problems, which I don’t know what to do about.

I feel like I’m on edge a lot of the time, and when something annoys me I react so quickly without really thinking about what I’m saying â€" or about the consequences..

I’m worried it’s going to get me into trouble at work â€" the other day my boss came over and asked me about something I was working on and I bit his head off.

He just walked away without saying anything. How can I control myself and how should I handle my boss?

Coleen says..

First of all you have to be really honest with yourself about why you could be feeling this way.

Is it down to stress you’re not dealing with?

Are you bottling things up, so you blow up because you can’t share how you really feel?

If you don’t know why you see red you have to go on an anger management course.

This can h elp to identify why you lose your temper so quickly and how to deal with it when you feel you’re about to lose it.

As a first step, see your doctor and ask if you can be put in touch with the right people.

In the meantime, when you feel you’re about to snap, stop and take time out â€" walk out of the room if you have to, take some deep breaths, then walk back in.

It’s a good way of diffusing a potentially explosive situation. I had a friend who had similar problems.

He learned anger management techniques that have really changed his life.

Have a quiet word with your boss and apologise for snapping at him. Say you hope he won’t hold it against you and reassure him it won’t happen again â€" and leave it at that.